after an orbit round the sun, back to the beginning, it's time to conclude the year & move on. On the whole, not much was accomplished. Getting into a job, landing myself into troubles, less clubbing, more readings, more self focused, not being a good girl & growing more haggard. It was a rather mundane, quiet year. I could almost feel the battery in me weakening. Hence, before the next summer olympic year, i need to be recharged by:

1. Buying a new cam!

2. Going to vietnam!

3. Building a consistent fitness regime!

okay, 3 will do so tt i can easily exceed my expectations.. cannot be too ambitious... hahaz

Adopting another attitude for this materialistic place, come what may i say~

Birthday aka xmas aka new yr dinner at Grand Shanghai. Family-oriented place filled with children & elders. Oriental decor w live chinese music such as teresa teng's song. E dim lighting was making us very dreamy & sleepy. Kept e gift exchange tradition this year! A last min arrangement & it was rather difficult to get a universal pressie as all of us r very individualistic. Congrats to our 7 yrs of buddyship & still loving one another! 7 crazy, like-minded friends are hard to find i must say & we can be much a terror sometimes. lol. Sharing gossips & updates, coming up w different poses in front of the cam & probing into our deeper thoughts til the restaurant was closed & we were still taking pics infront of their signboard... girls' night is always good...A pity that some of us couldn't make it..

This was supposed to be a heart-shaped, dark chocolate cake decorated with white chocolate roses. Hahaz smashed but we made the best of it. quite arty though.

A prata supper w June at simpang settled my teh-cino cravings after the gathering. & they got nice r&b music~

fulfiled my ktv cravings on xmas eve w e girls! Shouting into e mic was great, especially during "Ferliz Navidad"~ I tot my xmas eve wld be quiet one.. hahaz.. dinner at bobby's in chijmes was alright but a lit pricey though.. e constant caroling was entertaining as well.. late for work on xmas & boss was a lit unhappy.. so dead.. boring xmas & boxing day this yr.. boohoo

Ordinary Miracle by Sarah McLachlan

"Life's like a gift i say, wrapped up for you everyday, open up & find ya way to give some of ya own..."

Din read e book & nv watch the cartoon before. A sweet story abt simple friendships & promises. Its even more heartwarming when you're watching w a bunch of good friends.
==
Last min decision to union last night made me realized i haven kept in touch w e salsa for mths. Nervous & unable to keep to the beats. ah. 3 glasses of alcohol din get me more relaxed but rashes began to appear all ova. boo.




Thank you! Absolutely love it! ;)






Merry Christmas to All !!

last team dinner @ swensen. This time, there were 10 of us. Everyone, especially boss, was relieved from all the backlogs but e commission wasnt really enticing. First day back to work after e 10 days break. Surprisingly, i was early but i really forgotten all my passwords. it's so embarassing to keep requesting for new passwords cos need to go thru big bosses' approvals. Luckily, for my com login, i wrote it down somewhere in my stacks of papers. Mail box was bombarded w promotions & stuffs until i cant create email unless i clear dem. Well, time flew at work. Having swensen's banana pie topped w vanilla ice cream, condensed milk & caramel was extra warm & sweet. Felt a bit bad cos din j dem for e xmas performance which dey won e first prize (swensen's vouchers). Boo.

==

Thought: e quiet in e city, e sunshine after e rain, e moon in e darkness, e passion in e cold, e sweet in midst e bitter..

Place: Cameron Highlands, Malaysia
Duration: 15th to 18th Dec
Coach: Konsortium (10+hrs)
Hotel: Strawberry Park Resort (Far from everywhere, no toothbrush provided & heater is perpetually not working but quiet, ideal for hibernation)
16th: Brinchang (town area), Boh Tea Plantation & Factory (4000 acres, originated from China), Mossy Forest (Mt Brinchang), Dry Forest, Natives, steamboat dinner (13rm) & night market
17th: Honey Bee Farm, Steamboat lunch, Strawberry Farm, Cactus Valley, Water Cress Valley, Chrysanthemum Nursery (grown for praying only), dinner at e chinese village (more water cress soup & unknown veggies)

Temperature: Cold, Rainy & Windy

Roads: Windy & Narrow
Buys: all perishables...
After-thoughts: The trip was educational & short. Would prefer a longer stay after the long journey, see more of the nature at a slower pace.

Supposedly to recover after drinking tt bottle of bitter chinese herbal tea but e throat doesnt seem to be getting any betta. mega sigh. Met up w stel & leen last night at pp & did an implusive buy. Haven seen stel for like almost a year & we couldnt recognize each other when the both of us were standing just in front of MPH. Luckily, leen spotted the both of us when she was coming down the escalator. lolz. caught eragon w beckii just now. e little, blue dragon (when it first came out of e egg) was cute & ferocious at e same time. looked a lit like stitch. e lines were rather "duh", e front part was a bit draggy & itz a trilogy but its only 1 hr plus.. graphics was great, e show was worth watching afterall.. was stranded in cathay by e heavy downpour after e show.. no umbrella, no underpass.. some luck but still managed to get home w just a lit drenched.....

my pretty neighbour & i in e office at 8am.a lit sad tt she's leaving for greener pasture as she is one of e pull factors for me to go work. nevertheless, all e best!!:) Began my break w ZO at siloso beach on sat night. Met e babes at vivo for dinner. The jam was so bad tt it took half an hr to travel from one bus stop to e next. argh. Before heading in, we went ova to 7/11 for some drinking to get us into e party spirit. There were many drinking at getway carpark when we reached. It looked like some sort of illegal gathering. Finally entered e premise at 10+ after goin thru many entry blocks. First tent at the entrance was mambo, following by main arena, live band & velvet (nearest to shangri la) w many gaming areas, food & drinks stalls in between. This time, ZO seemed bigger in terms of space. The retro music was magnetic as usual. All genres of music (latin, hip hop, house, metal etc) was there but i missed e r&b. Familar songs, similar group but felt different. din feel free but had fun. Revisiting e past was good afterall. Ly brought us to the teochew porridge stall at ard 3+ for supper. Recuperated until 330pm today. A dinner at blk 85 & e i/c by e park was definitely comforting. I m grateful.

"the chocolat journey" from haagen daz!!i guez it shld be shared by 2 or more but i actually finished it up all by myself. feeling pretty contented although i had to do AA for e whole day & trying hard to sell sth tt i dun really believe in. Late again today. thks to my dr girl to keep a lookout & help me to reg. or else, i'll be logged as non adherence for countless times. boo. Reaching office at 8am is truely a challenge for this silly night owl. Major movement in the entire department starts next week. Perhaps it is a good time tt i'm not ard during the transformation. New seat, new boss, old faces. Bless me. Her words during the meeting were harsh in a polite manner. Bad news came when hl said tt she cant make it for CHL. sigh.

====

saw this lying ard, sth to share:

"One song can spark a moment

One flower can wake the dream

One tree can start a forest

One bird can herald spring

One smile begins a friendship

One handclasp lifts a soul

One star can guide a ship at sea

One word can frame a goal

One vote can change a nation

One sunbeam lights a room

One candle wipes out darkness

One laugh will conquer gloom

One step must start each journey

One word must start each prayer

One hope will raise our spirits

One touch can show you care

One voice can speak with wisdom

One heart can know what's true

One life can make the difference

It's up to you!" - by dunnoe who

it seems tt boss can almost see through me now. still prefer doing inbound. the new procedure is more time-consuming, allocating of resources inefficiently & not justified. Double standard & irresponsible words. needa get used to it & its a matter of time. my shoulder is still aching from e intensive workout last sun. swimming after e gym. lucky got e girls to keep me motivated. sitex was packed like an air conditioned chatuchak. good deals everywhere. stil thinking of s6311 & w950i... hahaz my E series can be scrapped.. of cos,we did not miss the miniature food fair next to it.. hee

Note: i wan a Mumble~

"stay current w corporate training. or else" dese dustbins had been appearing everywhere at e raffles place. The first time i saw it, i tot it was some tricks or "should i go forward & pull e mad guy out?" lolz it looks real until i saw many other similar bins. e sq is actually full of events going on such as IPO booths, credit cards tents, gym memberships, freebies give-away, people dressed in robots or samurai & even performances. There was once when the whole grass patch was full of fake flowers to be "plucked" by passer-bys.

==

e idea of working on nye shld be abolished.

Sipping "teh o peng", feeling v awake, watching entertainment news & reading emails at e wee hrs of e morning when e world is dreaming. A quiet life indeed. Away from bustling morning life & growing laziness. Have been the last few to leave the office these days, not bcos i m extremely hardworking but cos of some reshuffling. Had prata & ice teh tarik supper after work just now. Spending weekends at workplace isnt healthy. Some stuffs on my desk:

Collected diz pumpkin cushion that was the door gift for d&d. e theme was halloween. din go cos of shift work. i think it looks more like a huge tangerine. Been cleaning e table & magz folder w green tea wet tissue. Acquired diz habit when i got nuthing to do. Can be a PT cleaner le.

To be continued.....

Happy Birthday to Ms Low!!! Hee argh cant j dem diz time! :(

when the thirst of knowledge overpowers the hunger of many superficials, i guez it's a symptom of maturing. *smile*. been playing real hard recently.. caught step up last sat night~ crossover dance movie, great music & funky school dance. personal fav scene: rooftop dance by e sunset.. took mc on monday again *wink*.. went to watch casino royale (vesper is really mesmerizng but the show is lit too long) & a short mambo on wed, training on thurs (absolutely lost in e lalang) & stayed at home on fri... configured my lappie, did some e banking stuff, mopped e floor, scrutinized e magz, watched e tv, swam a while.. hahaz a good day! gonna work for both weekends & wun be able to attend hl's dinner.. though e workload is much lesser *touchwood*, it is actually quite boring...

==

Happy Birthday to Theresa & Daniel Koh!! :P

i should hav knew tt diz world is not tt clear cut. I tot e result was all due to what i said to her. They said it was not because of me but him. It makes me became wary again. I naively took off my guards & forgotten the hierarchy. Indeed, it was rather unfair as what dey commented but i m so jaded about fairness. Everyone is so masked up. Betta start painting one too before i fill my face w scars. lol

Breaking the curse of tequila, swaying to the rhythms & blues, drowning into the crowds but the group wasn’t right last night. Countless jerks & weird clubbers. *pui* hahaz still looking forward to ZO though. Slept at almost 5 & dreamt tt i was crossing a bridge in the rain. The bridge was slowly lifted up vertically until i could not continue walking. I cried,"i cant go over anymore! i need a rope to climb ova!" It ended just like that as i was awaken by my mum. Dragged my tired, a lit unsober self to work in e noon. Happy to see improvements & leaves but sianz to hear about the meeting. i asked myself again, " why do i make myself miserable by something tt i dislike?" I need to be more honest with myself.

Happy Birthday Sisi!! Diz girl friend of mine had been there for me since e start of my teenage days. 10 years of friendship, 10 years of schoolmates, 4 years of classmates seems long but it also seems like yesterday that i jus got to know her. Hahaz. we met during a cross country when she lost her watch. As her classmates, we tried to look for her & in e end, we even went out cycling along east coast beach. from then on, we hanged out tog, goin thru e ups & downs. Now tt, we're officially on the next phase of life. as we seldom meet up, get tog session become more precious. frenz til we become auntie, granny & even 6 feet under. :P & hopefully our sri lanka deal will come true diz time~

Met e girls at vivo city before headin to clarke quay for dinner. it was extremely packed despite of the gigantic, spacious mall. *faint* Had a lit difficulty meeting e girls initially as this is my first time stepping in. The roof top's man-made beach was filled with lit rascals. We were able to see sentosa from there but quite hazy today. Just knew tt actually food republic & toast box were under breadtalk. & they actually spent 5-7 mil on the food republic in vivo. Must be all the antiques stuffs inside & e food is actually more ex by a lit as compared to other foodcourts. Dinner at renn thai & drinks at brewerks. Glad tt everyone is doin good & happy. :) hahaz my amazing tkg budz~ alwiz creating anonymous romantical links for me in schools & super updated w gossips.. kudos

i dreamt of christmas last night. i received a weird looking flower while e rez of my frenz got nice bouquets/pressiez.. it was a flat, fan-shaped, orange flower w dried leaves beside it w no ribbons, no packaging. a sign or a reflection? hmm even in my dreams, i feel so uncared for.. back to waking up late, & staying up late for work again.. i m growing comfortable in the present situation which is rather undesirable. argh. diz particular colleague (other dept) is actually leaving in e mid of diz mth. haiz. someone who will walk past my desk almost every other day to say hi/hw r u for e past few weeks due to my strategic position (beside the copier room). we knew each other's existence due to a troublesome customer whereby the case lasted for 1 mth plus. hahaz. & also becos of where i m sitted, many pple will actually walk past & asked abt you or chit chat a bit. hmmm work is more or less the same but slowing down a bit. my stock of empathy is depleting.. been see-ing some friends/ sch mates ard e area during lunch. now thinking back when we used to do projz/play tog in schools,hmm, wo men yi jing bu zhi bu jue zhang da le...

haoween party at zouk ast night. many of dem were dressed as vampires, anges, bears, supermario, chuni.. even PAP members & ghost busters.. e butcher bouncer ooks v boody & fierce.. shoud have dressed up & go ard taking pics cos rather boring for us.. therefore, we eft at 12+ to meet sheena for some mj session unti diz morn 6am..ahh.. tts it for my weekend cos i sept ti 4+pm.. e party season seems to be nearing again.. but i m sti where i was.. or perhaps even worse off.. jaded.. work became routine & stagnant.. & my aptop is spoit.. some keys r not working, i cant increase e vo, i cant burn cds.. sigh.. nuthing seems to be improving..

Place: Thailand, Bangkok (14th to 18th Oct)
Airport: Suvarnabhumi (jetstar)
Hotel: Twin Tower
Food: Beef Noodle (mai ao tua ngork) w lotsa chilli powder
Best Buy: ear ring from siam sq
Fast: Travelled by boat from platinum mall to khao san in 10 mins (normally jam)
Abundant: People (crowded)
Drink: Milk tea *slurps*
Learnt: The king was born on a Monday. Therefore, everyone wears yellow top on Monday for respect to the king.
Difference: More commercialized & things are getting more expensive




butter cake filled w macadamia nuts, topped with blueberry & whipped cream at e v tea rm ydae.. their apple tea is refreshing as well..

Argh sick .... *sniff sniff* sigh..

I was rather taken aback when dey said i gonna turn e wheel ydae evening. hmm, well, i felt tt i actually deprove instead..his way of encouragement? but it actually did make me feel a bit happier.. i was so tired last night tt i jus laze on my sofa & stare into e box for e whole night but only manage to fall asleep at ard 3am after reading e magz. miraculously, i woke up at 8am to go for my fav breakfast w/o any help of the alarm clock:

This stall is located at block 21 & always very crowded. I patiently waited for 20 mins when i was there at 9am. i like e eat in the porcelain bowl & the combination black vinegar + chilli makes e "mi tai bak" very tasty. anyway, i betta finish up my packing.. boo..

===

Attitude: e rtn msg was expected, fast, short & simple. period.

How i wish it will remain hazy when beckii told me tt e gov will announce PH if PSI is > 100. How inconsiderate i can be. sigh. Dreading to go work. i dun like to be scrutinized but i guess i m left w no choice.. gotta be more vigilant at all times. if not, dreadful mistakes will lead to hell.. Well, spent my weekend shopping so as to do e research work. I m so not a girl sometimes:

1. dun like shopping unless need to.

2. nail polish seems so foreign to me.

3. cant b bothered w my dressing much these days.

4. not good at bargaining.

Boo. E video of al & karla's demo link wch june sent reminded me tt i havent been salsa-ing. E inertia is growing. betta do sth quick b4 inertia overtakes e passion.. supposed to go chinese garden w e girls today but it turned out to be just like e past few years.. looking forward to e land of smiles in 5 days times though!! :P hmm how to say no beansprout in thai...

beer sampling @ brewerks. Initially, we planned to go archi but it was very packed. sigh. Therefore, after having dinner at the thai cafe, we walked ova to clarke quay for some drinks. from light floral taste beer to heavy malt bitter beer. nv drank so many types of beer at one go before. got me v bloated. i think i'll nv master the art of beer appreciation soon. Although we had our dinner, the sights of stewed lambs & sausages were tempting. hahaz. there was a mini mid autumn celebration as well. Balloons & "Kong Ming" Lanterns were released into the air after a firework display tt lasted for almost 15 mins. Lucky us! However, e haze was bad. badly polluted air caused by the forest fire. sigh. waiting for my hair to dry..

L'Art Du Nu!! e red, velvety place, decorated w many chandeliers. so seductive & mesmerizing. e girls r superb dancers, v flexible, e music & lighting were synchronized very well. I like e attitude, lola, but i am a good girl & champagne taste. e toughness, e gentleness of a woman. e beauty of a woman's curves. exotic! there's a girl in every woman. e tickets came w free drinks & nuts. but there was a farnie ah pek sitting at e same table as us. after almost a yr, e place seems rather empty. perhaps more pple would prefer watching e later shows instead. Been playing aka slacking fer e past days. Had dinner at HV's aburiya w hl & beckii on thurs after some shopping in town. i like e beef-onion-carrot stew. reminds me of the days at e rest. itz rather ex. ard 30+ per pax but quite fun. i always wanted to try charcoal-grilled food since e tw trip. watched scoop on fri night. hahaz hugh jackman!! *drools* hee... time for some serious work tmr...

I would prefer to handle a case/project from e start to the end. I would feel rather unease when I need to leave open cases for my fellow colleagues to complete. Not sure if its because I'm so afraid of miscommunication or high degree of ownership. lol. I just dun like to trouble others. Nevertheless, I have been troubling many people since e day i stepped into e office. It is so inevitable being in an information hub.

Today is not a good day:

1. several alien queries

2. spending ard 30mins for a particular call & still did not resolve e prob

3. no dinner buddies

4. left my mobile at home

5. unable to do full claim for my cabfare

Today is a good day:

1. approved off days! woohoo

2. hotcakes for breakfast

3. chocolates & green tea from my colleagues

4. end of menses

5. .............

Overall: 60% not good, 40% good.

My customers' satisfaction rating had dropped drastically. Of course, I do consider other attributes such as customers' moods, the difficulties of the prob & e disturbance of the surveyer (so tt i will not blame myself entirely). When a total stranger calls to tell you about his/her problem in the most unbearable attitude, expecting you to think in his/her shoe & assist him/her with your entire heart & soul, I will try my best. However, being bombarded with nearly 50 similar queries a day, yet need to pretend like this is e first time you heard the prob, feel sorry for them & patiently do e explanation can be exhausting for e mind. Work is not solely about customers though, e inefficiency of other departments or unfriendly emails can be rather intolerable. Pushing a little can actually solve some problems a little faster. Although there were also days whereby time was spent on watching vcds, playing computer games or surfing, I'm just in my complaining mood. hee. As what my fren said, "with tt amt of time watching vcd, we could have finish a research paper." gotta instill some self-discipline to spend my time more wisely. haha

The one basic thing that everyone is looking for in life is security. We are not living in a turbulent time when functional needs are unmet. Therefore, we are always on a constant search/yearn for the next level of needs. financial, emotional, health & wealth safety. natural cognitive behaviors known as motivations? Most people stay in this phase for some time (for some, its e entire life) before going to the next stage...Don't look for securities all your life cos it inhibits growth..

===

As we grow older, we become more politically correct, more self-centred & more skeptical. We are less gulliable, less contended & less truthful. For we fear losing our source of income, our friends & families, our identities or ourselves. We guard our inner beings with chains & locks so that no one gets through w/o breaking multiple barriers. How can we grow stronger if we do not allow our heart to be disappointed? Learn like a baby..

===

a celebration for e 6 mths survival on tuesday. I wonder how many 6 mths do i have to spend my days in daze.

tanning @ km8 w si last thurs! haven gone dere for tanning fer nearly half a yr. Despite e rain & lightning, we were still burnt. e weather on e little island is truely different from mainland. after being sun-drenched, we headed to town fer some quick shopping. After going home at 6+ to put my stuffs & changed my clothes, i went to meet june fer some salsa. Union is alwiz filled with DOM. Mad guy who din know how to salsa kept insisting on a dance. a lit afraid. after some latin music, I went ova to zouk to look fer sheena & supin. e band was good. i like e last song. the lyrics was hysterical & e lead's vocal is power. din stayed fer long but had ba ku teh as supper again. how to not grow fat like dat. w alcohols, late nights & suppers. fri night was w e girls to celebrate leen's 23rd at The One Ktv. It sounded quite sleazy when hl told me tt it cost $160+++ fer 3 hrs. lolz. I am just being a mountain turtle. Once again, we had many wings, sausages, topshells & satays at like 1am. I can see my tummy protruding out. hmm, all of us went home at ard 3am after much updating & gossiping. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LEEN! Sat noon was swimming at Beckii's place & shopping in Bugis village. Everywhere was playing jay & fei yu qing's qian li zhi wai~ Met my mum at 11pm to have curry fish head at e coffeeshop for supper~ A little of everything, rather than every little thing, makes e days easier & happier.

I feel tired being rooted to my seat & havin e headset glued to my head for nearly seven hours. hmmm read 4 chapters of TROF, eaten my dinner(hi-tea maybe), googled many websites & was even bored by msn. since 2, i only had 5 customers. I'm starting to worry if our system is down or pple realised tt dey should get a life? Rainy sunday either let pple to be in a more reflective stage or in a sleepy state. now tt, more colleagues left, time seems to be crawling. I think e way to know oneself betta is to not only through thinkin but also putting oneself in various circumstances & observe how one react/behave in the situations. e thinking starts later. let's start off w personality dissection:

5 behaviors that irritates e hell outta me:

1. late for no apparent reason & not informing

2. MIA & not replying sms for days

3. indecisive in small events (i.e. to wear black/white socks)

4. lying due to selfishness

5. treating pple unequally (as in discrimination)

5 things all friends ought to know about me:

1. a perfectionst/ idealist, becoming silly as age catches up (i tot should be wiser)

2. mood swings like a roller coaster ride

3. easily blown away by superb dancers especially hip-hop

4. like to have long, curly eyelash, straight, black-brown hair & bronze skin. (so bimbotic, hahaz)

5. fussy w food (i.e. no beansprouts in my prawn mee, no ikan bilis in my ban mian)

5 bad habits tt i need be get rid of:

1. sleeping too much (lazy lar..)

2. putting on a fierce/unfriendly front

3. curling my hair with my thumb & index finger

4. unreceptive to major changes, need to take more charge in my life

5. throwing my clothes everywhere, basically saying tt i m v disorganized for my own things

5 types of food i cant live w/o:

1. dark fine chocolate (meiji will do)

2. chicken drumstick (KFC is original, chicken rice stall is bai ji)

3. crabs!! current fav: white pepper crab

4. sashimi: madai, toro!! dun like salmon

5. pig's blood soup (w mani szechuan veggie).. hahaz omnivorous~

5 present cravings:

1. itch for R&B, need some scratching at BF or somewhere

2. spicy mala steamboat with many tang hoon & golden mushroom

3. that piece of glittery art, bling bling

4. tt place with no nasty pple

5. that intangible thing called satisfaction

Conclusion: i m very bored... hahaz bear hug needed... *yawnz*

work was good ydae~ cooperative customers, low call vol, happy colleagues, happy meal (w milk), magazines, newly-discovered websites & work gossips! hahaz went ova to brewerkz to meet e girlz & we had supper at chomp chomp (nv been there before) after work. had a lit bit of beer.. v bitter.. still learning to appreciate i guez... & i got my microfoliant from beckii~ felt like putting flour onto my face... my first time eating "chu chu".. hahaz fed up & gave up after a few empty ones.. muz improve on my sucking power/skill.. e trip back from chomp chomp was fast as well.. din noe itz quite near my place.. lolz.. went swimming w beckii & hl diz noon.. woke up at 1150 when we were suppose to meet at 1230.. hahaz well, everyone was late~ e sun was good.. i love my red, dark tan now!! saw him again.. when u decided to not think abt someone, tt someone will just keep appearing in one way or another.. yucks.. nvm..

my last msg was, "ok i get it.. sorry to disturb ya.." yes, i think i really get it diz time cos i saw him at pp's bus stop when i got down even though he said he wanna stay at home fer e day.. i've been doing silly things these days.. gotta stop tt.. my actions had betrayed my heart.. arghh.. my EQ sux to e max.. shld hav understood e rules of e game.. well, today's my off day.. went fer a swim, had dinner w june & a walk along e beach.. :) sorry to get ya worried.. will take care of myself & enjoy ya Bali trip k~

Walked to archipelago brewery after visiting dawn yesterday. e red dates & longan drink was full of crunchy red dates & dawn had helped me to put lesser. One chocolate martini at e brewery almost got me KO. it tasted like 50% alcohol. i like e top shell as well but too much coriander & would prefer more lime. hahaz i m so picky w my food. had work in e morn yday.. e vol of calls was crazy & e system was hanging intermittently. dun even have time to drink water.. spend half an hr after work to input all e data.. mebbe i m juz slow.. pple shld realli get a life..y wake up so early on a sat morn?! spend a lot yday. at diz rate, when will i get my bling bling?! hahaz gonna work til 1130pm fer next 2 weeks, argh.. no more sam soon show fer me!! sadded. so pple, pls ask me out fer supper ya! :P tidied up my wardrobe & group dem into colors fer e whole of today. :) finally, i m a bit neater but i seriously think it wouldnt last long. boo.

120806, bbq at villa marina, many MIA-ed









180806, waiting for r&r, left e 5 of us from e same batch

some pics to share above.. life's been more or less the same fer me recently. H/w, sth seems missing. i think itz magic. yearning for sth out of the ordinary (+ve) to happen.. perphaps i m juz being a bit greedy.. hee been procrastinating.. wanted to start tidying up my room but still in a mess.. clothes r everywhere on e bed.. boxes & magz ard me now.. argh.. dunnoe where to start...waking up at 7am fer 2 whole weeks is truely an achievement fer moi.. reverting back to 12pm! shiok~

gladly survived the 5 working days. Perphaps because i got something to forward to every evening after work. friday was e slackiest. had a meeting w at 4pm & logged out 5 to wandered ard..did some call back.. hahaz seems like working fer only half day. but lucky me, cos e night b4, i only slept at 1 plus. after some salsa at jitter, watched click w june on a fri night. i like adam sandler!! nice plot, reminding pple how meaningless life can be by skipping phases. i guez all experiences help pple to grow & be enriched. but e theatre was a lit cold. met ly & beckii at chinatown fer lunch (tian ji porridge, yum yum!!) & headed to HSA. there were bruises diz time rd. yucks. & had my heart rate measured again, rised by 8 bpm compared to 2 mths ago. getting more & more unhealthy. while ly headed for her party, beckii & i went town fer some shopping & haircut!!! hahaz i wanted a trim so badly. went ova to klearcut diz time. was talked into a scalp treatment as well. cos it was quite cheap ($20). had a very cooling sensation. e feeling was juz like havin 5 air cons blowing on ya scalp. & i love head & neck massage!! hahaz i actually dozed off for a while. after wch, beckii & i went to food republic before heading down to mos to meet june & frenz. felt really tired den. smoove was as packed as ever. e drinks was diluted. went to stroll ard clarke quay instead & left at ard 1am after havin mac as supper. had a short sun tan session w sheena juz now...

union, bbq, mahjongs, gossips, shopping!! hahaz conventional yet relaxing for my weekends.. hy is really my ke xing in mj man.. kept losing..muz hone my mj skills!! bbq was alright, not as exciting as last time. Perhaps all of us had grown up. Conversations were revolving around colleagues, work, bosses & bfz. There were moments of silence when everyone just dazed into space. i guez all of us r rather tired after a busy week at work. e bbq food was quite dry & tough... back to union last thurs was good.. alcohol is a muz to hav a good night rest for me! still unable to adapt to e morn shift.. some pple juz exist to ruin your life & tt was e last straw.. Into my 6th month of work.. boo

It is one of those days tt time flew past w/o any warning. Did not stop talking from morn til evening & 30mins lunch seems more than enough. i couldnt stop talking, stop worrying or stop thinking. i guez i m tt kind of person where work is w me 24/7. Therefore, it betta not be miserable. my mind is so clogged up. a trip to civil service club was entertaining. i like being near the water, even chlorinated water. Flowing water w full moon is even better. Somehow, it always soothes my soul. A ppt presentation brought us back to more than 20 years ago. dey had really came a long way, even longer than zouk. well, i still find it hard to mingle. not good w pple i guez. sigh. went ard to explore the facilities. got excited by the sound of the fireworks & tried to find e highest part of the building.. took a cab down to geylang w/o telling uncle e lorong after hanging ard fer an hr or so. lolz. lucky, he was patient but had a few detours.. finally got to e mongkok tim sum after a mega jam. *muz rem itz L8* stuffed ourselves w more yummy food fer an hr before strolling back to my house through the red-light district.. suddenly, i miss e prawn salad at Hong Xing.. my human-detector is spoilt permanently (quote from June:proximity idiot) lolz..i cant even tell tt someone is juz like an inch away from me.. kidnapping me will be as easy as killing an ant.. updated myself w some enews at half past 12.. yawnz

Are you a dirt or a gem? Does that depend on how you treat yourself or how others see you? You may be a precious gem in someone's eyes but a detestable dirt in another. Its a perception, depending on which side/angle of you someone sees. Embrace the imperpection(s) cos that's what make one unique & different. It is not difficult to lose individuality in the corporate world. I'm still a wilful child at heart, still idealistic, still hopeful, still holding on.. but learning to balance with realism by altering my attitude.. cos itz my responsibility on those within control.. those internally...

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I'm so glad that i'm reverting back to the normal office hour though the thought of waking up in the morn & squeezing in e crowded bus is a torture. It will be healthier, mentally & physically. Excited to be back to salsa & immerse myself in the rhythm & passion. I'm so tired of taking care of irresponsible people, so sick of listening to whines, vulgarities, scoldings & complaints yet unable to rebutt back in my own capacity.. I tried turning on a deaf ear but I can't, in case i miss any "important" word.. I'm also so irritated/angry with myself by the fact that i keep complaining to my dear friends who had been there listening & trying their very best to help me in one way or another. I tried to curb myself from grumbling about worklife & being nostalgic. Having good memory can be quite troublesome. After being on e job, every night, i would pray that tmr will be a better day or at least smooth sailing. I din actually realized that my body was going on a hunger strike against diz work by losing appetite for almost a week. Food had always been a source of happiness/joy to me. I so wish that last month was the darkest period of my life. *pray* but i really doubt so...

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a slack day w some workout, some couch potato-ing, some reading & some interactions did good to my soul..*smile*

I had been living in hibernation for almost 3 weeks. Ever since i got my noon shifts, i havent accomplish much. Hav been complaining to almost everyone who crossed my path abt how unreasonable/demanding cm were. & some cm juz dun listen!! lotsa of communications in my workscope. emails, phone, face-to-face but i agree tt e lack of control is sucky. Yea i need to find my way outta diz shithole & get my life back. e lack of interest & patience had led me to more trouble. Alright, enough of work. The lakehouse was ridiculous indeed. shld have trusted the critics. the yearn for physical closeness through time.. is the act of waiting a belief of true love or juz plain foolishness? some things you already know tt itz not possible but still hopeful, still living in self-denial..well, only time will tell... haven been home for almost 36 hrs. boo. living w my heavy green bag. lolz. took a short nap during my dinner break, my head's spinning now.. looking at e clock.. 3.5 more hrs to go.. i need good sleep..

Funny as it can be, i alwiz end up sick after getting an mc from e doc. gastric flu diz time.. no wonder, i alwiz feel like puking after every meal. horrible white fluid that's called carmmatic tasted veri plastic-ky, small little pills tt stop vomit & aid digestion were easy fer me to swallow.. my 5 off days juz flew by in a flash.. recharged by e long hours of sleeps, chilling out at starbucks & at beckii's place, tennis & swimming at my aunt's place & ktv-ing.. my right arm is still aching.. e lack of exercise is terrible.. looking forward to e bbqz & my noon shifts.. how i love sleeping until e sun is right above my head..e tot of work had tormented me past few nights.. dreamt of being sued by e customer due to neglience on my part... boohoo... but nvm, i alwiz believe dreams r e opp of reality.. hahaz..

"These memories are playing like a film without sound" -vitamin c, graduation :P

07/07/06, friday, commencement 2006 was held in suntec convention hall 602. i woke up early in the morn to iron my white shirt & black skirt. As i did not bring my ezlink card, i took a cab to suntec instead. Arrived at ard 1230pm & saw jency at e lobby, followed by si & theresa. Excitedly, we went up to take many pics. Beckii got si & me pink & red roses :) Jenni was there as well, haven see her since.. ehh.. hmm.. think 2 yrs?.. after much photo-taking, we went to register at hall 603 & start dressing up.. another round of photo-takings.. lolz... everyone looked e same in their gowns.. had a bit of difficulty finding people.. itz been 4 years since convocation.. e same place we officially started our uni life, e same place we officially ended our uni life..

commencement was actually rather boring, filled with speeches & speeches..though some of dem was quite inspiring & funny.. their chanting almost put me to sleep.. thank god, those smses kept me awake..the video clip was playing vitamin c's graduation with e last scene depicting 2 graduates walking on a huge green pasture & ending off with "would you remember?"... sentimental indeed.. sometimes i do wonder, did smu mould me into a more confident, outspoken & brave person?.. but whatever it is, memories r gd especially w my noisy friends.. hahaz.. most of us left fer e refreshment before it ended.. i was so hungry!! i loved e tiramisu cakes.. yum yum.. ly, sheena & i headed to ms for some shopping (actually only me shopping) & genki dinner.. & azabu sabo ic as well~ hahaz.. headed to fiesta for one dance w kw.. my heels almost decomposed my feet... met up w beckii for some stingray & carrot cake at glutton bay.. e music in dxo was enticing.. so e 3 of us headed in for more high impact dance workout.. lolz... & it was ladies' night!! hahaz.. free flow of drinks til 4am.. lolz but e music was gd tt we did not need any alcohol though i took a sip of vodka ribena.. e crowd was pathetic though, filled w young punks...got home at 2am.. puked at 6+am diz morn for no reason.. arghh... think mebbe eat too much... spend e whole of today in bed.. weak! sigh...

I was delighted to receive e cards, hugs, presents & birthday wishes from my sweet, pretty babes. I was pleasantly surprised diz morn by e tulips, by e white chocolate cake-cutting ceremony at e traffic junction in front of the wall memorial & msges that came from those who seldom kept in touch. Thanks babes & dudes for the efforts & time. I am glad to hav friends who talk w/o intention, give w/o condition & care w/o expectation. At the same time, I am also painfully hurt by those whom i thought was close enough to at least send me an sms. but not a word til now. all these little things tell me how much i mean to somebody. I am still learning about contentments... :)

"faster come, hate being lonely", "it beats being alone" who do you think of when ya're all alone? should you be happy or sad when someone thinks of you but only when he/she is lonely? so what if the person is physically with you & yet his/her mind is occupied with someone else? will ya feel even more lonely when no1 has e same wavelength as ya? i think i m weird. i like watching tv, yet i feel happier watching tv by myself. i wanted to go, yet i said i din want but went ahead by myself.. i had e time but i wanted to be alone.. i guess e right company is crucial & sometimes yourself is e best company..

had off day last wed!! went shopping w si & beckii!! hee we walked all the way from far east to PS fer the entire afternoon~ & si was on heels, amazing~ tried strawberry shesha @ arab st.. think e 3 of us r really making a lot of noise.. i like e roof top ambience..fruit juice & slight breeze.. but e fries r a bit over fried..

was watching the fireworks at my place juz now.. i still rem tt during my younger days, i would run out of my flat & stare into the glittery sky when i heard the loud explosion..it seemed like stars falling down.. i think it would b perfect to watch fireworks by the beach.. hee.. another half day at work tmr.. off fer sleep~ :P

Attended a team gathering at ICB juz now. first time to e place, quite smoky & filled w soccer fans. saw my FA prof & diz guy from biz law klass. omg & he happened to b my colleague's husband. *faint* din i juz grad? & my colleague is leaving e coy. i feel lagged. itz good to attend e dinner. got to hear mani gossips & learn more about others. hee.. sleepy n tired.. i m realli not a morn person.. still adapting...

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1 of the pictures was taken in may 05. the other was taken today. sitting on e same chair, wearing the same top, using e same fone & from almost e same angle. gues wch is wch? hee i m juz too bored.. i dun really like the hair color now...

we were all talking casually abt it during lunch. yy actually did it. 4.2k is nt a small sum. i guess she must have dislike the work v much. sigh. money vs freedom. spent my sat night w mj at beckii's place. & as usual, hy din turn up in e end. BL! hahaz went ova to hk cafe fer supper at 12am. met another tkgian cum tpjc gal there. noisy bunch. pple do change. w e make-ups, dressing & slimming down. e food there wasnt reali nice. had ice milk tea float & bo lo bao. n ta bao those cannot-finish food (v aunty behavior). started our mj session ard 2+. diz time, we r even gossiping abt pple we dont know. hahaz. 6 of us really make up a noisy market at e wee hrs of e morn. while 4 of us were playing mj, dawn & beckii watched full house. lolz. played til 630am before offically zombie-fied. i jus took e pillow from e cupboard n jumped onto e bed as i said, "bye... leen.." in a sleepy tone. woke up ard 12pm e next day, watched e last episode of full house & went shopping in tm, marina, suntec & heeren w beckii. lolz. but din really get anithing cos feelin v poor. juz a bronze coin pouch. zonked out at 10+pm... was really tired...

leen & i posing w hl's new fone at hk cafe!

e ability to alter one's genetic makeup. e inability to control own mind. a power to destroy your close ones. when saving becomes killing. when human touch is as impt as mental connection. when everyone is connected in one way or another. when childhood friends turn into foes. It's about e struggle between nature & nurture. environment/surrounding influences each and everyone of us much more than we can imagine. v subtle, v quiet & v slow. perphaps one really cant fight against nature? or maybe nature can be redefined?

pondered when scott said, "not everyone heals as fast as you do." teared when prof x was shattering & eventually exploded. laughed when wolverine was punched by growing arms, kicked him between his legs & said, "have tt grow back!"

too many casts & not developed. nightcrawler was only shown for like a few secs in the church. warren & rogue seems to b jus adding effects. many main leads died.

GSS realli got everywhere packed. haiz

"details or whole?" ... well, every aspect

jam, com not set-up (hardware & software), phone got prob. late for work today. login at almost 0845. it's irritating when every min, every sec counts into the score sheet. boo. more stressed than sch. at least in smu, we get to do things at our own pace. encountered a demanding cm tt shortened my lunch time by 15mins. & there's a chart tt ranks all of us.. machiam class position.. stared at it fer a while & decided to ganbattei but had recurring cm & follow-ups to deal w in the later part of e day.. think 1 day, i will jus agitate cm w my ignorance.. all of us attended a function after work.. ceo talked, director spoke, reiterating what was told during our training days.. ova 1000 pple attended.. those funny clips were entertaining & helpful in keeping me awake.. i like e top 7 songs tt expressed cm care.. some were quite crappy though.. e exit doors were highly guarded to prevent anyone doin any disappearin act..

time fer bed... *yawnz*

If the types of relationship with men r like the different stages of eating, then june & i thought of classifying them as the following:

Appetizer: Still in the dating stage, sort of like a try-out/exploring period.

Main Course (Staple food): On a need basis. Possess the attributes/qualities of a good boyfriend, husband & father. The type of guy that you would want to settle down with in long term.

Side Dish: Besides having your main course, this is the type of men you see sometimes. Not necessary to have.

Dessert: The ultimate perfect man that attracts you in terms of looks, personality & wealth. Its the man that you want.

Junk Food: Don't see this type of men too much cos its detrimental to one's mental (or perphaps physical) health.

Fast Food: ONS. Quick & satisfying.

**Note: Subjected to individual preference. Some of the items may overlap or some do not eat certain food.Well, life is not always so clear-cut ya.

After categorizing men, we also wondered how would guyz classify girls. W/o a doubt, to guys, car, soccer, beer & girls are always associated. Hence, another random thought for the guy's version below:

Test-Drive: Appetizer, Family car: Main course, Taxi: Side Dish, Dream car: Dessert, Bus (shared by many & long rides cause dizziness): Junk Food, MRT (shared by even more but fast): Fast Food

Watched Da Vinci on friday at the cathay. Think they really need to do sth abt the overcrowding at level 6. Either assign different timing for each theatre or let the people in earlier?

can u imagine sleeping for 12 hrs, had lunch and go back to sleep for another 3 hrs? hahaz thts me when i'm feeling groggy. Actually, i din really feel so sick until i ate the medicine the doc gave me fer giddiness and vomit. let me read e label: itz cinnarizine. while i was at the doc, e female doc was telling me abt a horrifying incident abt her being stalked by a man.i turned out to be telling her to b more careful, report to e police etc n said things like u muz b v scared. i think i realli nid to rest at home after tokking to unreasonable, demanding & nonsensical customers. (there were nice pple at times as well) hahaz. most of us were talking abt leaving after 6 mths when we're just starting our 3rd mth at work. e work expects one to be alert, attentive, considerate, multi-tasking (like readin emails in the between conversations or processing while talkin to customer at the same time) at all times. but i think after working fer another month or so, things will be more on track but more repetitive. good or bad? not sure. at diz moment, i think i just wanna get things done & learn more abt how e coy works as a whole. ok enough of work. some pics i got from sheena last night for dblo on 6th May to celebrate ly's bdae. hahaz. itz gd to get high n drunk after a long tiring week. there're alwiz reasons to celebrate!

this was still e start of the night.. we jus reached & about to play games.. think ard 10+

Ly's was so red & e rez of us almost gone..

eh notti notti.. molesting ly...insisted on giving her bdae kisses.. lolz..

beckii's newly cut fringe.. hahaz din notice tt night.. muz be too dark..

"one flaming lamborghini a week keeps our insaneness away." hahaz juz kidding i juz like e baileys..